Useless Information

2008-07-25T18:59:00.000-04:00

Nancy Wilson

2008-03-16T13:25:00.001-04:00

This post is in honour of Nancy Wilson (guitar player for the band Heart) who is celebrating her birthday today.

From 1976:

From the 90s:

From 2002:

LOL Cats

2008-01-28T20:27:00.000-05:00

I'm sure some day very soon I will be tired of them, but at the moment, LOL cats crack me up!!

moar funny pictures

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Alright, I'm done now.

Oh no, wait...

moar funny pictures

Okay, now I'm really done.

All images from icanhascheezburger.com

Merry Christmas!!!!!

2007-12-24T21:46:00.000-05:00

Since It's Almost Christmas...

2007-12-23T19:21:00.000-05:00

A nice Christmas song:

'Fairytale of New York' - The Pogues

The Future is Unwritten

2007-12-22T13:22:00.000-05:00

Joe Strummer was the co-founder, singer, lyricist and guitarist for one of my favourite bands of all time, The Clash. Today marks the fifth anniversary of his death. Joe died in 2002 from a heart attack brought on by an undiagnosed congenital heart defect. He was 50 years old.

The song in this video is called "Silver and Gold" and was from the last album Joe recorded with his band The Mescaleros (released posthumously in 2003)

And here he is with The Clash:

"I think people ought to know that we're anti-fascist, anti-violence, and anti-racist. We're against ignorance." Joe Strummer

"It's the only thing that's living to me. I shall live and die and be judged by it." Joe Strummer on rock'n'roll

Got the Turkey On?

2007-12-20T16:43:00.000-05:00

Christmas with Mr. Bean:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...drums

2007-11-22T10:14:00.000-05:00

This is Travis Barker, formerly of Blink 182, and his remix of Soulja Boy's "Crank That". Awesome. :)

Completely random bit of info: Travis once broke his arm playing drums.

Mitch Hedberg

2007-11-20T11:18:00.000-05:00

This guy was hilarious...pure genius. Unfortunately, he died a couple years ago.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

2007-11-13T22:46:00.000-05:00

If this doesn't melt your heart...then you don't have one!!!

Good, Old-Fashioned TV

2007-10-14T17:52:00.000-04:00

This made me laugh then...and it still makes me laugh.

Breast Cancer Awareness

2007-10-01T11:37:00.000-04:00

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. The link below is for The Breast Cancer Site. Please take a moment and go to the site and click on the pink rectangle button. By doing this, you help fund mammograms for women who can't afford them. It is free and easy to do, and you can do it once a day, every day. So please bookmark the site and visit it every day!!

It Matters to Me!

2007-10-01T11:34:00.000-04:00

Today is Dame Julie Andrews' 72nd birthday!

I REALLY Don't Know Why, But...

2007-09-20T11:12:00.000-04:00

I just love the guy driving the car in this commercial! He makes me smile!! :)

Boring Headlines Suck (Yes, I Am Aware That This is in Itself, a Boring Headline, and Therefore it Sucks)

2007-09-17T18:35:00.000-04:00

I go to the CNN website on occasion to try and keep myself in the loop as far as important world events. However, it's hard to do that when you're easily distracted by headlines such as the following:

Hanna, flamingo stuck in turnstile I read the first paragraph and laughed so hard I have yet to read the rest of the story!

Man dies after 3-day gaming binge Sort of makes you curious.

baggy pant crackdown goes national That's just genius...baggy pants...'crack'down...who thinks of these headlines?

Gator bites off snorkeler's arm Not particularly eye-catching, I just happen to be amused by the word snorkeler. And actually, the story is pretty interesting.

Not surprisingly, these were all listed in the most popular stories. So now all they have to do is come up with more quirky headlines for the really important news and we'll all be better informed!

I Don't Know Why But...

2007-09-12T23:45:00.000-04:00

I find this guy (John Pinette) absolutely hilarious.

Posers...Part Deux

2007-08-09T18:36:00.000-04:00

And we're back with another round of Sears Posing with Celebrities! (For round one, refer to the post from February 2, 2007)

This time around, we have Matt Damon, attempting the difficult 'solo' pose.

Wow...let's just observe this moment of near-perfect Sears posing. He aces the 'much-too-happy-for-an-ordinary-person' smile. He is clearly in mid-stride, making it an 'action' shot! He has managed to angle himself expertly towards the sun to give his face a little bit of shadow, without looking dark OR mysterious.

Only one small flaw here...the barely noticeable wedding ring. I'm going to have to check the rule book, but as far as I can recall, men are only allowed to wear wedding rings while Sears posing if they have grey hair. Or if it's Christmas morning.

Okay, so even with the ring, Matt Damon is clearly a winner with an astounding 486 points!!! Amazing...simply amazing.

That's all for this round of Sears posing with celebrities.

Friday the 13th...Oooooooh, Scary!

2007-07-13T13:23:00.000-04:00

In honour of Friday the 13th, I thought I'd post some superstitions and things that are considered bad luck. Because I'm...well...ME, I'm leaving out all the old boring ones we all already know, and I'm just putting the strangest ones I can find!

Bad luck:

>Breaking a glass while proposing a toast. (Seriously, I thought that only happened in movies. Do people really toast that vigorously?)

>Putting a shirt on inside out. (Well, this explains why children are always tripping and falling and getting hurt!)

>Hearing a rooster crow at night. (Depending on how late it is, might be bad luck for the bird!)

>Cutting your nails on a Friday. (I really have nothing to say about that one.)

>Getting out of bed left foot first. (You're thinking about how you do it now, aren't you?)

>Singing before breakfast. (I'd say this is true--you might run into some misfortune if you're that cheerful so early in the morning.)

>An itch inside your nose. (I thought that was just an excuse people use when they get caught pickin'.)

>Mending a garment while you are wearing it. (Definitely awkward if you're using a sewing machine.)

>Fastening a button into a wrong button hole. (Another strike against the kids.)

>Lighting three cigarettes with the same match. (Yeah, because by the time you get to the third one, your fingers will be burning.)

>Killing a ladybug. (Why would you ever do that? Why?)

Superstitions:

>Do not lean a broom against a bed, or the evil spirits in the broom will cast a spell on the bed. (There are evil spirits in brooms?)

>When a cow lifts it's tail, it means it's going to rain. (Also means they're about to pee.)

>A fish should always be eaten from the head towards the tail. (Does that still apply to the ones in 'stick' form?)

>A wish will come true if you make it while burning onions. (My wish would be for the onions to stop burning because it's hurting my eyes.)

>If 3 people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first. (You think it's stupid, but I bet you'll make sure you're on one of the ends from now on.)

>Place a hand in front of your mouth when sneezing, or your soul may escape. (Might not be the only thing that escapes!)

>A spider is a repellent against the plague when worn around the neck in a walnut shell. (Seems like a lot of trouble to go through to avoid the plague.)

Water Hazard

2007-06-26T22:02:00.000-04:00

I just found reason number 852 for me not to go golfing.

Some guy in Florida was out golfing and his ball went into a pond. He went to retrieve the ball, and a nearly 11 foot long alligator grabbed his arm and pulled him into the pond!!

A question that popped into my mind at this part of the story was, is this sort of like the alligator version of fishing? Anyhoo...

The guy used his other arm to beat the gator and free himself, and it took...whomever it is what catches the gators, an hour or so to catch the thing.

What's the best part of this story? No, it's not the 'Beware of Alligator' sign posted near the pond. It's the fact that the alligator only had one eye! So this guy, who just set out one day to go golfing, now has the best golfing story ever!

"So I reached in to get my ball, and this huge one-eyed alligator jumped out and dragged me in!"

Okay, so maybe it's just me that finds this so amusing. By the way, the guy was not seriously injured...I'm not THAT mean!

Just Watch It

2007-06-07T23:05:00.000-04:00

This video completely fascinates me. I've watched it at least ten times, and for me (with the memory of a goldfish and the attention span of a hyper two-year-old on a rainy day) that's a lot.

It's called Women in Art, and explores 500 years of female portraits in Western art. (Stop yawning, it really is interesting!)

Shopping List: Q-Tips; Ear Plugs

2007-05-08T12:57:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm on the CNN website the other day keeping up with the news, and a story caught my eye, so I clicked on it and read it. There was this boy who told his parents he heard noises in his ear. He described it as a "snap, crackle, pop, like Rice Krispies." They took him to the doctor, and it turns out that there were two spiders living in his ear! (You just felt the sudden urge for a Q-Tip, didn't you?) The noises the boy heard were the spiders walking across his eardrum.

So this brought up a whole bunch of things in my over-active imagination. First off, can't you totally picture cartoon spiders, in their tiny little tap shoes, with top hats and canes, doing a dance on someones ear drum? No...just me? Okay then.

Next, there were two spiders...not one, but two! It begs the question, how long was this boy still for, that two spiders took up residence in his ear? I can understand one--I mean, who knows what goes on while you're sleeping, right? (just creeped myself out there) But spiders don't house hunt like people, do they? They don't go in together, browse around the place and decide they'll take it. They send one in to scope it out, and that one goes back and gets the others and they set up camp. (sounds right-ish) So just how inactive is this kid?

Then there's the obvious concern that this boy has never been introduced to the cotton swab. And he obviously doesn't have a fear of spiders or, like me, he would see any tiny annoyance in the ear as the possibility that spiders (or any type of bug, for that matter) are attempting unwanted entry. I'm not paranoid...I've read things...I know it's possible.

Lastly, I may never eat Rice Krispies again. The wholesome goodness of them has been ruined for me...I'd just be thinking about a big bowl of spiders. Rice Krispie squares, however, are a different story. Rice Krispie squares are the food of the gods.

News Flash: People Are Stupid

2007-05-06T13:20:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I went to the bank the other day. I went inside and there is a line up of three people for the bank machines. One guy is at one machine, and the other is empty. I used what little smarts I have to surmise that the empty machine must be out of order, and got in line. A few minutes later, the line has grown to six people (including me). All the other people who came in after me obviously came to the same conclusion about the empty machine as I did because they all quietly took up their place in the line.

I'm sure you can probably guess what happens next. Some tool comes in, looks at the machines, looks at the length of the line and says...wait for it..."The other machine not working?"

One lady, bless her heart, actually answered because the rest of us just sort of looked at the moron, wondering if we had heard what we just thought we heard.

I mean, there's a little thing called common sense, isn't there? Did the idiot think we were just all standing there because we enjoy the thrill of the line up? We were running low on anticipation that day, and decided to stock up at the bank? Maybe we all just had a preference for the machine on the right, instead of the lefty one.

I feel bad for stupid people. They can't help it. On the other hand, they are to be congratulated for getting where they were going without any major injuries...I guess.

Can You Spare a Square?

2007-04-24T14:18:00.000-04:00

So because of Earth day celebrities decide to broadcast their ideas for saving the planet's resources. Not a bad idea, but in some cases, it just proves why they're in a band, and not in public office, or something.

One celebrity who actually had a good idea was Matt Damon. He thinks a good idea to help save trees would be to stop junk mail. Great idea. Make him president.

Sheryl Crow came up with two ideas for conserving trees. One was a device she designed that is basically a napkin attached to your sleeve that you wipe with after using the potty. Ewwwww. Secondly, in all her 'rock star' wisdom, she feels that we can all do with using just one square of toilet paper when we hit the rest room. Either she has a serious problem with her elimination processes, or she uses the best t. p. money can buy. Two things to remember if you ever meet Sheryl Crow: 1. she might not smell so good; and 2. do NOT shake her hand!!

Invalid Password or Username

2007-04-06T16:25:00.000-04:00

Okay, so along with all the useless crap in my head, I now have massive amounts of usernames and passwords that are supposed to just magically appear at the front of my brain whenever my computer asks for them. Well you know what, they don't. In fact, most of them are mingling with each other and not coming when they're called.

I keep meaning to write them all down in an orderly fashion, but then I get distracted by something shiny and forget. So instead, I have little bits of paper, all with strange and sometimes confusing usernames and passwords lying all over the place. And no, I don't always remember to add on the paper what website it's for.

What makes matters worse is that I'm one of those people who draws a complete blank every time I'm asked to come up with a username or password. As a result, my names and passwords are often made up of the first word or words that come to mind, something I hear on the radio, or something I see. Then, to confuse myself even further, I combine whatever I thought of with something completely unrelated in a way that will help me remember it easier. And you know what? It doesn't work.

Every time I go to enter a site that requires a username and password (including when I post my blog), I end up staring at the little blinking cursor for a few minutes, following the trail of thought in my brain that leads me to the correct username or password that in some strange way I've associated with the site.

Having said all that, I almost never have to click on that 'forgot your password' link. That's like admitting defeat. Instead, I dig deep into my brain (past all the empty space and the useless bits) and eventually come up with the right ones.

Deep Thoughts

2007-04-01T22:20:00.000-04:00

As usual, I have nothing of use to offer. Instead, I have a quote of the day.

"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic."

--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Hump de Bump

2007-03-25T17:47:00.001-04:00

For My Own Amusement

2007-03-25T17:36:00.001-04:00

Here's the newest video from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, called 'Hump De Bump'. Not a spectacular video by any means, but better than most I've seen lately.

*Edit* The video disappeared when I posted the edited version of the blog--ooooh, magic--so there it is, up there.

Don't know how familiar you are with the Chili's, but here are my observations on the video:

1. Anthony Keidis proves that grillz (the teeth--or 'teef', if you prefer) aren't for everyone.

2. Guitar player John Frusciante's horse teeth freak me out a little. (Can't see them very well in the video, but I know they're there!) *Useless fact--his real teeth pretty much all rotted out from the massive amounts of drugs he did in the '90's, so he got himself some new, huge pearly whites.

3. Chad Smith is just minding his own business, playing some drums.

4. Flea (the one in the yellow headband) is cooler than most people. Seriously, who else could make a yellow headband and matching Lakers uniform work?

Would Have Made A Great Sketch

2007-03-12T11:42:00.001-04:00

Click here

This is Tracy Morgan, who used to be on Saturday Night Live, doing some interview, apparently not in a 'clear' state of mind. Don't you feel like you're watching SNL--I mean, back when it was funny? I haven't actually seen the show in quite some time, but if it's as funny as this, I might start watching again. Or maybe not.

(By the way, sorry for putting links in all over the place lately, but I can't seem to get videos posted correctly anymore. Something's getting lost in translation either with my blog, or in my head, not sure which. I thought I had it figured out with this post, but apparently not.)

Flippin' the Bird: Celebrity Edition

2007-03-06T17:56:00.000-05:00

What do George Bush, Jon Bon Jovi, and Mini Me have in common? Well apparently, they all think we're number one!! Check out this link for pictures of celebrities giving the good old one digit salute.

Now, I thought the rule was that if any other finger went up along with the middle one, then it negated the whole thing. Has the rule changed somewhere along the way? Winona Ryder and Jodie Foster look like they're clearly doing something wrong (although for some reason, I give Jodie extra points for looking the other way). Stephen Dorff (not really sure who he is) gets the thumb just right--points!

Heath Ledger and his girlfriend get points for making it a joint effort (with a sign for extra credit!). Drew Barrymore knows what she's doing, but her points take a hit for those trucker/smurf glasses. Bruce Willis also goes into the minus for looking too happy.

Kirstie Alley...I'm giving her points because that hat makes her look a little crazy...and I like it. Avril Lavigne annoys me, so she gets no points. George Bush gets a few (but not many) points for managing to get the tip of his finger alligned perfectly with the tip of his nose. Spooky.

Ross from Friends is a terrible disappointment. I really expected better from him. He tried the subtle nose scratch and came out looking awkward. If you're gonna do it, just do it...unless you have glasses to adjust, then try for a sneak attack. One point for effort.

Most of the others weren't even worth a mention, but three of these talented celebrities made it a close race for first place. In third, we have Jon Bon Jovi. The finger high above the head suggests confidence in the flipping-off (and detracts from the fluffy hair), but that's not what got him that far. What really did it for him is the teeth!! The bunny face gets me every time! (Note: Kirstie Alley had the bunny face as well, but it was cancelled out by the crazy hat. When dressing up your bunny face, always go with large, dark glasses like Mr. Bon Jovi.)

In second place, we have Vivica A. Fox. How did she manage this with an obvious crooked finger? Simple...Pauly Shore. I have no idea why he's there, but the look on his face sets off her finger perfectly.

And the winner is...Diane Keaton!!!! Why, you ask? Well, first of all, she's old, and I like crabby old ladies. Second, she still looks classy, even with potty fingers* (*swearing=potty mouth, therefore giving the finger=potty fingers). And third, it's a two for one because whoever is on the phone with her is also inadvertantly getting told off, as she is clearly vocalizing the message her finger is sending.

There you have it, the winner of Flippin' the Bird: Celebrity Edition is Diane Keaton with 483 points.

Not Your Average Country Song

2007-03-05T09:07:00.000-05:00

A while ago on the radio I heard a band called Me First & the Gimmie Gimmies. Besides their band name, what stuck out about them was that they had just released an album of punk covers of country songs. Yes, you read that right.

Click this link to hear one of those songs, a cover of The Dixie Chicks "Goodbye Earl". Someone on youtube, bless their little heart, actually took the time to take the original video and edit it to fit the new version of the song.

Why can't all country music soung like this? I might buy some of it if it did.

Last Laugh

2007-02-23T13:19:00.000-05:00

This is the last time I will mention Britney Spears on here. This made me laugh...a lot.

Music Meme

2007-02-22T11:47:00.000-05:00

There's a music meme going around, and I caught it.

1. What is your favourite group? Heart

2. What is your favourite song? I have a favourite for every genre of music, but I guess my favourite overall would be "God Bless the Child" by Billie Holiday

3. The one song you could never get tired of? I have yet to get tired of "Clampdown" by The Clash, "Give it Away" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and "The Distance" by Cake

4. Name a song you like but would never admit to? It's not so much the song I like, but the video reminds me of early 90's music videos, when I used to watch them. It's a song by Hedley called "Streetfight". Whether you consider them 'rock stars' or not, they certainly act like it.

5. What is the most embarassing CD you own? I will say Ace of Base, but I think I may have gotten rid of it.

6. Which do you prefer Michael or Janet Jackson? NEITHER

7. Your best drinking song? I was gonna say "Paradise City" by Guns N Roses, but it's a little on the long side for keeping a drunk's interest. I was also gonna say "Home for a Rest" by Spirit of the West, but then I thought of "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC.

8. If you could be in any band, what band would it be? Heart

9. What is the best concert you have ever been to? Edgefest a few years back when Big Wreck was there

10. Who is better the Stones or the Beatles? The Rolling Stones

11. The last CD you bought or were given? 'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not' by the Arctic Monkeys (strange name, great CD)

12. What was the last song you downloaded? "The One" by the Foo Fighters

13. If you could meet any muscian, dead or alive, who would it be? Nancy Wilson

14. The best female artist? Nancy and Ann Wilson of Heart

15. If you could see any band 'live' past or present, who would it be? Can't pick just one: Heart, The Clash, Led Zeppelin, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guns N Roses, and Billie Holiday

16. Most annoying artist in your opinion? Fergie is a whole lotta annoying in so many ways.

17. Best music video? "November Rain" by Guns N Roses (even thought GNR's "Don't Cry" has my favourite scene ever where Slash drives himself and his chick off a cliff and the car explodes, and then Slash is at the top of the cliff playing his guitar and he takes it off and throws it over the cliff. I like it...don't know why, but I do.)

18. Song that makes you smile-no matter what? I have two: "Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants and the theme song from the Benny Hill Show (I CANNOT hear it without giggling)

Hey Britney, Sinead Called...

2007-02-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

I saw a picture this morning that almost made me run screaming from my computer...so I thought I'd share it with you. Here it is:

Isn't that cute? If you have not seen this yet, that is indeed Britney Spears with her new...uh, hairdo. It is not a fake or photoshopped or anything--she really did that to herself. After checking into, and then right back out of rehab (which her rep denies, but everyone is reporting as fact) she celebrated by goin' a head shavin' and a tatooin'.

I have never been a big fan of her (and if you are, you may want to rethink it), but now I have to say that she scares the crap out of me!! Look in her eyes--there's evil there (or that may just be a little drunk left over from 'rehab', who am I to say?).

Anyhoo, I just thought I'd share with the class. (Photo from people.com)

For a quote of the day, I turn to a song by Elvis Costello called "All This Useless Beauty" (one of my faves!)

"Nonsense prevails, modesty fails; grace and virtue turn into stupidity."

--Elvis Costello

Funny Commercial

2007-02-15T14:41:00.001-05:00

SuperBowl 2007 Ad: Fed Ex

I'm Cold, Oddly Enough

2007-02-11T12:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, I get it. It's winter. Winter is cold. At least it's not snowing, right? No, it's not right. If it's too cold to snow, then it's just plain too cold! I don't care if it's Canada and it's supposed to be cold, when it's so cold everything freezes, it's TOO cold.

Tired of all the stupid and supposedly funny comments people make when they come in from the cold? Even worse, have you ever been shocked to hear one come from your own mouth? The next time you walk into a room full of people who turn and look at you as if you might bring news of different weather than that which they themselves just experienced, try asking a question they don't usually hear. "How many layers did you wear today?" or "How many tissues did you use after you came inside?" Eww.

Here's my personal favourite: "What went numb on you?" You could make a game of it--see who had the most obscure body part go numb when they were out in the cold. I'll tell you mine: my butt. That's right, while walking the kids home from school the other day, I lost all contact with my butt. Yes it was covered, but that didn't appear to matter. The wind was at my back, and my legs were so cold they hurt, and my rear end just couldn't take it. Thermal pants. I need thermal pants.

Why, as experienced Canadians, do we continue to go out in the frigid weather wearing jeans? You'd think one of us would have come up with some sort of pants that look okay AND resist the wind. Instead, we head outside in denim or polyester or cotton that just soak up the cold and attach themselves to our legs. However, the only other option is to wear some giant snow suit and look like the Staypuff Marshmallow Man.

The other day, I had four shirts on. Yes, four...and I was inside!! The way I see it, I won't be warm until some time in late spring. Until then, I'll just try and have fun with the cold. Next time you're out for an extended period of time, strike up a conversation with someone. People look really funny when they're trying to talk with a frozen face. Plus, it's quite a challenge trying to form words when you can't feel your lips.

Also, I like to wear hats and mitts and put my hood up and all that stuff. I may look silly, but not half as silly as all those people who didn't want to look silly and went out with no hats or mitts and refuse to put up their hoods. Red ears are not a good look on anyone. Neither is standing there with your hands over your ears yelling to the person next to you, who also has their hands on their ears. Buy a hat.

I actually saw a grown woman pull her arms into her coat (you know, what we all did when we were kids) and then lift her coat from the inside to cover her ears. All that because she didn't want to wear mitts and didn't want to ruin her hair with a hat. Newsflash, the wind already ruined your hair...buy a hat, you look stupid. If you still insist on wearing no mitts, stick your hands in your pockets. Honestly, what kind of person walks around the frozen tundra of Canada with their arms in their coat--wearing running shoes, no less!! Seriously, how are you gonna break the fall when you slip on the ice? (No matter how many times you've seen someone go down, that just never gets old, does it?)

Still not having fun with the cold? Next time you see someone slip and then look around to see if anyone noticed, exclaim loudly, "Good save!" If you see someone fall (and they're not hurt, of course) simply call out, "Man down!" and carry on your way. If you see someone creeping along the ice in their running shoes (with their arms slightly out in the classic 'if I go slowly I won't fall' pose), walk swiftly by them in your ice gripping boots and say to yourself, "I love these boots."

You could also try throwing snowballs, but they're likely to contain ice, and no one seems to see the humour in getting nailed in the head with a chunk of ice. If all else fails, simply run and slide. That's all you need to make you smile...just run and slide.

Quote of the day:

"Yeah, I know. I look like a freak."
--Iggy Pop

I may look like a freak, but my ears are their normal colour and I know for certain that all my fingers and toes are present and accounted for.

Posers

2007-02-02T11:57:00.000-05:00

Nick Lachey may not be the best singer around, and Fergie may be one of the most annoying people on the planet, but there is one thing they apparently do very well...Sears poses!!

Check this out:
Nick gets extra points for the classic 'lean-in' while Fergie gets bonus points for achieving the difficlut 'head-tilted-at-an-awkward-angle' position. Sadly, however, Nick's girlfriend losses points for forgetting her 'eerily-content-face'. Instead she attempted the never popular 'disgusted-face'. She should really know better than that if she's going to attempt Sears posing. Also, what is with the left hand? Even a beginner Sears poser can tell you that hand should be pointing. Awful...just awful.

Here's how it adds up--Nick is clearly the winner with 58 points. Fergie comes in a close second with 49 points. 'Whatshername' unfortunately winds up with a -3. All she had to do was point with that left hand, and she would have pulled it off, 'disgusted-look' or not.

That's all for this round of Sears Posing with Celebrities.

Photo from People.com

Quote of the day:

"Somebody's boring me--I think it's me."
--Dylan Thomas

Feet Don't Fail Me Now

2007-01-31T15:36:00.000-05:00

The other day, I was walking down the stairs, minding my own business, when my feet decided to race me to the bottom without telling me. This ever happen to you? You don't fall, per se, but you certainly get to the bottom sooner than you had intended. It was funny, I'll admit it.

I am not the most graceful person in the world, but I haven't fallen or even slipped for a long time. So it was a surprise to me when, not an hour after slipping down the stairs, I walked into a small box that's been in the hallway for years. Then the next day, I slipped on the ice. Same thing happened as with the stairs--my feet went into fast forward for a moment.

Clumsy as I now feel, I am proud to say I stayed on my feet all three times.

Instead of a quote of the day (because I totally forgot until now), I have a short little video. It is from The X-Files--or rather a commercial for The X-Files. Whether you like this show or not, you might be interested to know that on TV (and movies, I suppose) when one actor is shorter than the other actors in the scene, the shorter actor often has to stand on a box to even up everybody's height. This practice goes for filming commercials for the show as well. One of the stars of The X-Files is my favourite actress, Gillian Anderson (who played Scully, on the right in the clip) and she happens to be short. For years she had to stand on boxes and occasionally the boxes (as with my feet!) failed her. And the thing we can all learn from this clip is: if you're goin' down, try and take someone with you!!

Who Raised Me?

2007-01-25T16:14:00.000-05:00

First of all, I read in the paper this morning that some German scientists recently gave up on one of their experiments. What was the important experiment they gave up on? Trying to make a sloth move. No kidding--they had spent three years trying to get a sloth to climb a pole. I, for one, feel slightly less useless now. And I have to say--bonus points to the sloth for keeping them going for so long! He had to be taunting them--going near the pole, backing away. One foot on the pole, two feet on the pole--ever so slowly removing them.

So I was in the WM today (sounds better than saying 'I went to Wal Mart' doesn't it?), and something occured to me. Where do all these kids come from that are out shopping in the middle of the day? Okay, some of them were babies and toddlers, so that's fine, but some were obviously school age children. When I was a kid, you were in school all day, unless you were deathly ill--in which case you were at home watching The Price is Right, Jerry Springer and Rikki Lake.

Also, while trying to pick out a birthday card, some lady pulls up in front of me with her cart. Being raised with MANNERS, I backed up a bit. She said nothing, only inched her cart forward. This tiny move piqued my curiosity. I scooched away a little more and she took another step towards the cards. I wondered how many times she would shuffle in order to get where she wanted (which was, of course, right where I was standing), but, like the German scientists with their sloth, I lost interest in my experiment. I retreated from the cards and the lady took up my spot, just as I knew she would. Why wouldn't she just say excuse me, or wait patiently, or something? I'm guessing that in a casino, she'd be a lurker--waiting to take someone else's slot machine. She's a WML--Wal Mart Lurker. My owh phrase, just coined it. You like?

So then I was walking home (it takes away the guilt of eating the chips I bought!) and coming at me on the sidewalk was a mom, dad, and their little kid (about 5 or 6). I moved to the side with the kid, thinking the parents would tell him to get out of the way, and I end up on the grass!! I had my iPod on, so I don't know if the kid was told to move, but if he was, he didn't. The way I was raised (again, with MANNERS) you sort of yeild the right of way on a sidewalk to those older than you. And, if you have children with you, you ask them to move for other people, and if they don't, then you ever so gently move them. I would have mowed the kid down, but those manners that I was raised with told me not to.

I'm starting to wonder about the way I was raised. Edged out of the card section by a silent, shuffling old lady; pushed off the sidewalk by some little five-year-old. Not to mention the fact that I think it's hysterical that people--smart people with degrees and stuff--would spend three years trying to move a sloth.

Quote of the Day is from one of my favourites, Miss Mary Poppins herself. Or Maria Von Trapp, if you prefer.

"Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it."
--Dame Julie Andrews

Depressed Yet?

2007-01-22T12:53:00.000-05:00

In case you don't know, today--the 22nd day of January--is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year. I suppose there must have been some sort of study to prove this, but I heard it on CNN and the radio, and that's enough proof for me! It even has a name--'Blue Monday' (and now I have that New Order song stuck in my head). It has to do with bad weather and remaining Christmas bills and what not.

So just in case you were going about your day thinking it was business as usual, now you have been reminded of the bad weather and those unpaid bills, and can continue on your way in a depressive slump. And if you're lucky, you also have New Order songs stuck in your head!

As for the quote of the day, I decided to put two. The first is from my all time favourite book, called 'The House of Mirth' by Edith Wharton. It is also the most depressing book I've ever read (or maybe not, but it is pretty depressing).

"it was easy enough to despise the world but decidedly difficult to find any other habitable place."
--Edith Wharton, 'The House of Mirth'

And here's a completely random quote that made me giggle a little.

"He was a bold man that first ate an oyster."
--Jonathan Swift

Quote Unquote

2007-01-21T12:10:00.000-05:00

Quote of the Day today is from an author called Joan Didion. I have actually only read one of her books (The Year of Magical Thinking), but I began to like her after reading a couple interviews with her. She is an older woman who has been through a lot, and she remains funny and truthful.

"I procrastinate. I play computer solitaire. I fall into depressive sloth. I don't like it, but there it is."
--Joan Didion

I prefer spider solitaire myself...and Playstation. Sonic the Hedgehog anyone?

Someone Else More Talented Than Me

2007-01-20T18:51:00.000-05:00

In a world where anyone with good looks, a lot of money, a hot producer, and a synthesized beat can become hugely famous over night, it's nice to know that some people still have genuine talent.

This is K.T. Tunstall, someone you may have heard on the radio lately. I saw her do this song on the Ellen Degeneres show a while back, and went out and bought her CD the next day. This is her from a different show doing her song "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree", and it's truely awesome. Yes, she is really performing, recording, and playing back her own backing tracks right there on the stage.

My Happy Place

2007-01-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

AC/DC is on the radio right now, to be followed by Guns N Roses and Metallica. Does it get any better than that? Seriously, does it? Okay, I'm sure it does, but it doesn't take much to make me happy where music is concerned.

Oh wait, they threw Nickelback in between GNR and Metallica. That doesn't seem right, does it? The up side is that the Nickelback tune is 'Rock Star', which it occured to me the other day would probably be a good drinking song. Throw it on next time you're really drunk and see what you think. Or not.

Rock on, Ugly Nickelback Guy, rock on.*

*Photo from irocknroll.com

Quote of the Day:

"I wouldn't ask you to do a drum roll if your arm fell off."
--James Hetfield of Metallica

Who says rock stars are inconsiderate?

Bonus Feature

2007-01-16T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well, well, so winter has arrived. I wouldn't mind so much, but now, with all the ice, it looks as if I may have to finally put my bicycle away. It actually has really good traction in slippery conditions, however all the large and heavy cars around me DO NOT!! That, and with the chilling cold, I don't always have enough feeling in my gloved fingers to fully apply the breaks. It makes for great, suspenseful riding, though--will I stop this time, or will I sail right into the intersection?

At the moment, my bike is upside down in the shed, suffering from a flat tire. I kept wondering how I'd managed to go for two years riding through all the dirt and debris that gathers at the side of the roads (that includes pieces of metal, sharp rocks, unidentified pieces of whatever that go flying in all directions when you run over them, etc.) without getting a flat tire, and then it happened the other day.

Due to my complete lack of interesting things to write, I am adding a bonus feature to my blog. Ooh, can't you feel the little butterflies of excitement in your tummies? Starting today, there will now be a Quote of the Day!! This doesn't mean there will be a quote every day--oh no, I am far too lazy for that kind of commitment. More like a quote of every day I can think of one!!

For the first quote, I turn to my favourite show of all time, The X-Files.

"Nature abhors normality."
--The X-Files

Why do I like it? Because it makes me feel better, that's why.

Completely Uncalled For

2007-01-07T18:22:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across this, and it cracked me up. Useless, uninteresting fact--the cow joke is one of my favourites!

Crappy New Year

2007-01-06T23:00:00.000-05:00

Well, I hope the year gets better, cause it started pretty crappy! As you may or may not know, for the past two years, I have had two hamsters, Bo and Blue. In November, Blue died after she had been sick for a week or so (see November post: Sad News). On the 2nd of January, I went to give Bo her nightly carrot, only to find that she had died. I realize that hamsters are 'disposable pets', as was so kindly pointed out to me, but it was still a bit of a surprise. Anyhoo, I decided to get a picture of the little critters on here, because they were very cute. They were dwarf hamsters, which means that when I got them, they were just a little bigger than a toonie, and at full maturity, they were about half the size of a regular hamster. So here is a picture of them--the only picture I have, as those things don't stand still!!

Bo is the white one, and this was about the only time she EVER stood still. Blue is the darker one in the back, trying to escape--she was much more shy, but the last week when she was really sick, she loved to sit in my hand and sleep.

So that's them, gone off to hamster heaven. :(

Happy New Year! I'm An Idiot!

2007-01-02T19:56:00.000-05:00

Ever since late November, I have been wondering what became of my Christmas CD's. I do not put them with my regular CD's, because my holders are all full. I do not keep them in the box of CD's in my closet that I don't listen to, because that box is full. I used to keep them with my Christmas decorations, because that was logical. Last time I put them away, however, I thought I might like to get them out before I got my decorations out, so I put the CD's somewhere else. Problem was, I apparently forgot to tell myself where that special place was.

I looked everywhere for these CD's--I checked all my CD holders, the box of CD's in the closet, the box with my Christmas decorations. Even though I KNEW they weren't there, I checked and double checked because they had to be SOMEWHERE. I even half-heartedly cleaned out my closet partway through December because it was just bugging me. I checked every box (and believe me, there's A LOT of crap in my closet) except for one box that I knew they weren't in. No luck. I was seriously starting to wonder if they had maybe sprouted legs and taken off.

On New Year's Eve day, I got fed up with the mess in my room, and decided to re-arrange my closet so I could stuff even more junk in there. For some reason I opened the one box I hadn't opened and--you guessed it--there were my stupid Christmas CD's.

Yay me...I'm an idiot. I didn't even want to listen to them before, I just couldn't believe I had lost them. I value my CD's and keep good track of them. I've only ever lost one, and even in that case, I know exactly what CD it was and where I left it. (It was The Hip's Fully Completely, and I left it in the front seat of a guy's Ford F150 pick-up truck). So to misplace ten or so CD's really messed with my head--and I couldn't even remember what they were!!!!

Fortunately, I'm not alone in my stupidity!

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-24T13:47:00.000-05:00

If I Were A Cat...

2006-12-22T21:59:00.000-05:00

I totally understand how this cat feels. This cracked me up.

Slow News Day

2006-12-20T22:06:00.000-05:00

This is Sunny. Isn't she pretty? She sounds nice, too!

I have absolutely nothing of any use in my brain, and I am severely lacking in Christmas spirit this year, so I thought I'd introduce you all to one of my guitars, in case you haven't seen her before.

All guitars are girls, as far as I know, and so is this one, even though the brand is a Stagg. This is a Stagg L320 GBK, to be exact. Her name is Sunny (yes, I name my guitars--doesn't everyone?).

She is actually my fourth guitar, and I got her about two years ago, I think (really I have no idea when, I just sort of pulled that out of nowhere, but it sounds about right).

This is the guitar I have wanted pretty much since I started playing guitar (actually, it's a much less expensive COPY of the one I always wanted [the Gibson Gothic Les Paul]).

Okay, that's it. I would assume no one else sees the beauty in Sunny that I do (she literally hangs on my wall) so this one was mostly for my benifit. To quote Cousin Eddie, "She's a beaut, Clark!" There, I got Christmassy after all!

Scrap In Aisle Three!!

2006-12-18T12:29:00.000-05:00

I went to Wal-mart today. Yup, seven days before Christmas, and I stepped into the zoo. I was prepared to get what I needed and get out, and so I didn't even get a cart at first.

I found what I wanted behind an empty cart. Once I had it, an older lady took up the cart and started to ask me about the item I had in my hand. We were having a nice chat when an older (and apparently crabbier) lady asked the nice lady if she had taken the crabby lady's cart. The nice lady politely said no--it was her cart. Crabby lady then accused nice lady of stealing the cart! Let me remind you that it was empty! I sort of just stood there for a moment, and then smiled at the nice lady and left.

Anyhoo, the store wasn't that busy, and there was a whole line of empty carts just two aisles away at the door. I don't know who got the cart in the end, but I saw crabby lady a few minutes later AGAIN wandering away from her EMPTY cart to look at something.

Here is a clip from Coronation street that shows if you're going to be a crabby old lady, the least you can do is be sarcastic and funny about it!!

The crabby lady appears at about 0:44, and she absolutely cracks me up in this scene.

Useless Christmas Fun

2006-12-17T13:54:00.000-05:00

Here's a little bit of Christmas fun. Go to this website:

www.jokesunlimited.com/christmas_elf_name.php

to find out what your elf name is.

Mine is Snappy Sparkly-Toes.

Not Over Played...Yet

2006-12-16T13:35:00.000-05:00

I've decided to boycott all radio stations that advertise Mac computers. I heard one Mac endorsment too many the other day, and it pushed me over the edge. I'm listening to 97.7 because THEY don't care what kind of computer I have!

Due to the fact that I have NO Christmas spirit at the time and can't think of anything festive to put here, I'll give you a list of songs you can go out and buy yourselves for Christmas! You're welcome!!

These are the songs I like at the moment, most of which aren't on the radio. That means I'm free to over play them at my own pace! In no particular order:

1. Oh Holy Night--Heart
2. You Ruined Christmas--Bobnoxious
3. Martell--The Cribs
4. The Globe--Big Audio Dynamite II
5. Get Over It--OK Go
6. Day After Tomorrow--Tom Waits
7. This Song Was Written By A Commitee--Hostage Life
8. Can't Stand Me Now--The Libertines
9. Kick Out the Jams--MC5
10. Police & Thieves--The Clash
11. Red Light Indicates Doors are Secure--Arctic Monkeys
12. Life During Wartime--Talking Heads
13. Maggie's Farm--Rage Against the Machine
14. Seeing Double At the Triple Rock--NOFX
15. LSF--Kasabian
16. Mama--My Chemical Romance
17. John the Fisherman--Primus
18. Gotta Get Into You--New Young Pony Club
19. Techno Love Song--Coco Rosie
20. Mondo Bongo--Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros

That's it--some are old, some are new, but they're all good.

My Feet Don't Stink!

2006-12-13T21:37:00.000-05:00

My feet are well taken care of--thanks to my socks. I bought some socks today and before I discarded the package, something caught my eye. It said "Ultra-Fresh" in a big, green oval, and in small writing underneath "Antimicrobial Protection". The purpose of this, I learned upon further reading, is 'to prevent the growth of odor-causing bacteria'. Well, isn't that special?

These are sport socks, by the way, so I guess they figure you're actually using them for sport. They don't make sit-and-type-on-your-computer socks, so I went with the sport ones. I think everyone should take a closer look at what the sock people have taken the time (or WASTED the time, in some cases) to print on the package. First of all, my sport socks fit feet sized 4 to 10--thank god they don't make shoes that way! (The store took a step into reality and labelled them for size 9 to 11.)

There is also something called 'Lycra 3D' in my socks, which is supposed to 'help keep the size, shape and fit' of the socks. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't your FEET do that?

All these things, by the way, are listed as the 'features' of the socks. My socks have features!!
Besides all this, there are the typical washing instructions, the last of which is DO NOT IRON. Are there really people who iron their socks? Do they hang them back on their little black sock hangers after?

Warning--Redneck Content

2006-12-11T10:05:00.000-05:00

I used to hate NASCAR, and then I liked it and watched it, then I followed it, but didn't watch it, and now I sort of follow it and watch a couple of laps here and there. I watched the final race of the season recently, because one of the drivers I like was in contention to win the championship. If you don't watch NASCAR, the rules of it have been changed in the last few years, and now it's mostly just stupid (more stupid than driving around in circles for four hours doing nothing but wasting gas and risking your life). Plus, since it is the 'fastest growing sport', little rules and regulations change on an almost weekly basis to satisfy new fans and sponsors. Anyhoo, Jimmie Johnson (one of the few drivers who is consistently good and doesn't drive like an idiot) won the championship. I just read that Jimmie broke his wrist after...wait for it...falling out of a golf cart. His JOB is to handle corners at 200 mph, and some guy takes a corner a little too sharply in a golf cart and poor Jimmie goes flying. Whether you like NASCAR or not, you gotta admit that's ironic. And if you take a moment to get the picture in your head (the golf cart; the sudden turn; the big guy in the blue and white race suite flying out, flailing his arms about, and perhaps rolling down a conveiniently nearby hill) it's pretty funny. Or maybe I've just seen America's Funniest Home Videos too much. I've gotta thank Tetley Tea for making this blog possible today (gotta get those sponsors in there--oh my god, did I just make a NASCAR inside joke?) Alright, that's it. Hopefully I'll be okay in the morning.

For the Tenth Time Today...

2006-12-06T22:08:00.000-05:00

Some people have a radio station--I don't mean they have one, I mean they have ONE that they listen to day in, day out. I have three. This is several steps up from the radio channel surfing I used to do between the 24 pre-sets on my radio. I listen to 102.1 (The Edge) out of Toronto, FM 96, out of London, and 97.7 (Hitz FM) out of St Catharines. Now, they DO play some different music, but for the most part, their playlists mirror each other quite nicely, which is not always a good thing. As a result of their similar formats, there are several (extremely over-played) songs that I am beyond tired of. Why does a song have to go into such HEAVY rotation if a station even gets a hint that people like it? What happened to the good old days of waiting around to hear the latest song by your favourite band (with your fingers hovering over the record button so you could tape it!!)? Here are the ten songs I never want to hear again
(there have been others, and there will be more, but just these at the moment):

1. Talk--Coldplay (I haven't actually heard it much lately, but I don't really like Coldplay, and this particular track makes me want to stick sharp things in my ears)

2. Lips Of An Angel--Hinder (I liked it the first few times I heard it, but after several hundred, I'm completely over it)

3. Hate Me--Blue October (it sounds like an order, and I don't like taking orders, but after hearing it so many times, yes, I will hate him--if only to shut him up)

4. Pain--Three Days Grace (this song causes me some minor pain--maybe just a small ache, but it's enough to send me to another station)

5. It's A Long Way To the Top if You Wanna Rock and Roll--AC/DC (I swear on my favourite guitar's life that this song is playing on FM 96 as I type this right now, and it freaks me out!! I don't care HOW cool AC/DC is, the words 'bagpipes' and 'solo' should never be used together)

6. Sunday Morning--K-OS (I just don't like it--it gets on my nerves after the third time they play it in one day)

7. Anything by Sam Roberts (there is something about him that makes me dislike him greatly, and therefore makes it impossible for me to enjoy any song he sings--maybe it has something to do with the fact that he can't sing)

8. Comin' Home--City & Colour (first of all, it's the band name--the guy's name is Dallas [a city] Green [a colour], and that's just to cutesy for me; then there's the song itself, in which he mentions places like Halifax and Nova Scotia, which only makes you sound like a dork, unless you're Great Big Sea; besides which, Halifax is IN Nova Scotia, and he only separated them to fit into a rhyme, and I've spent more time on this song than I meant to)

9. Anna Molly--Incubus (I don't like the song, and it's played every five minutes; in the song, he sings anomaly [def. something unusual] but it is called Anna Molly, this bugged me from the moment the song came out, but now, the DJ's have a little debate with themselves about the correct pronounciation of the title before or after they play it!)

10. Snow (Hey Oh)--Red Hot Chili Peppers (I actually like this song, and don't mind it being played so much [yet], but what annoys me is the way the DJ's try to make the 'Hey Oh' part of the title sound cool--it's NOT cool, and nothing you do will make it sound that way!)

Okay, so that's it. I won't even get started on how the DJ's keep pushing Mac computers, because it irritates me beyond belief, and I'm about ready to turn the radio off for good if they don't stop. Yes, you have a Mac. Yes, you prpbably got it for free. Yes, you have to mention it a certain amount of times a day (as per the 'free' arrangement). Yes, your Mac is better than my computer. I DON'T CARE!!

NOW that's it. I feel better.

Hairball in Easy Listening

2006-12-05T10:18:00.000-05:00

Here's something I find terribly funny. If the link doesn't work, type the address manually (zoinks!)--it's worth it, just for a laugh. If you don't see any humour in this at all, then you should see a doctor immediately. This makes no sense until you see it, but the third one down is my favourite, and you have to watch the sixth one down for a second to get the full effect.

http://tower.boras.org/cat/

Glossy Pin-Ups Inside!!

2006-12-03T21:01:00.000-05:00

We all used to read magazines when we were younger, right? (Yes, I realize most people still read them, but probably not the same ones as before.) There were the usual teen magazines for the girls (sorry, but I don't know what the boys read) like Tiger Beat, and whatever all the other ones were called. I, however, was the only girl I knew who used to regularly buy (along with the teen mags) such choice titles as Metal Edge and Hit Parader. Metal Edge was more reputable, but Hit Parader had all glossy pages (which used to be a rarity). Anyhoo, the point of all this is that Hit Parader just put out a list of the Top 100 Vocalists (in metal and hard rock music). The list included Robert Plant (Zeppelin) at #1, Chris Cornell (Soundgarden), Layne Staley (Alice In Chains), as well as the leaders of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guns N Roses, Pearl Jam, Tool, Nirvana, and Nine Inch Nails (all of the bands I used to buy the magazine to read about). There were others I used to like, and plenty I either didn't like, or had never heard of (and Paul Stanley at #18 and Gene Simmons at #29, for those so inclined). Most importantly, my favourite singer ever was included, although only at #78. This would be, Ann Wilson (of Heart) in all her rawk awesomeness! My delight at seeing her included in the list (even if it was so far down) quickly faded when I noticed that Amy Lee (of Evanessence) made it to #69. What is that? That would be like putting the dude from Creed (who somehow achieved #68) ahead of Robert Plant! I'm sure I'm the only one who finds this completely ridiculous, but it's just stupid to me, and I had to vent my frustration. Now that I think about it, I only used to get Hit Parader for the posters, not the content. If you would like to know who else made the list, look it up! I don't remember where I found it, and I don't care to look for it again. I'm off in search of more accurate polls!!

For those about to RAWK, Nancy and Ann Wilson salute you!!

Do You Need Help Little Man?

2006-11-21T13:15:00.001-05:00

This video is incredibly mean, and I feel terrible for finding it funny. I would give the poor guy in it a hug, if I could just stop laughing!!

Manners? What Manners?

2006-11-17T22:54:00.000-05:00

I'm in a bad mood, so I thought I'd pass it on! I am fed up with rude people today. Unfortunately, (or maybe it's for the better) I'm too tired to think up all the things that annoyed me (because that's a LONG list), so I'll just put the major things that have been getting on my nerves.

Were you ever in a situation where you were watching something and other people were there, and you get the bright idea that if you ALL stand back, you can ALL see, so--like a moron--you step back, thinking everyone else will as well. Then, what do they all do? Yup--they stand right in front of you. Hello? Did anyone ever teach you manners?

Did you ever hold the door open for someone, and then suddenly it's like a clown car let out? Everyone files out the door, not even looking at you, and certainly not thanking you for holding the door. It's like they figure the door is just magically staying open for them and them alone, or that you just love holding the door open for people and they're somehow making your day. You have no idea how badly I would have liked to simply let the (heavy) door go on a few of them, but I do have to see them again. And that's the other thing--it's not like they were complete strangers either!!

And I just thought of another thing--I was sitting in a nice comfortable seat (okay, it was a woden bench, but whatever), and I had to get up all of a sudden. I wasn't off of the bench for more then a second when this guy plops himself down right exactly where I had been. It's not MY bench, but at the very least, I had dibs on it.

And don't you hate it when someone's having a bad day and they just dump it all over you without a care as to how your day was, and...oh, wait...never mind. Hope you're having a good day!!

His parents must be proud.

Useless Information Gone Bad

2006-11-14T13:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, so apparently there is a point where too much useless information stored in your head can bring you shame. In my case, it happened only minutes ago when I went to the MSN homepage. There was a headline (link) simply stating 'Timber Timber Joins Duran Duran'. I stared at this for a moment, and then the fog lifted in my brain and I figured they must be talknig about Justin Timberlake and Timbaland (that hip hop producer who is responsible for all the new and annoying Nelly Furtado tunes, among other songs). I resisted clicking on the link at first, for fear I was right, but then my curiosity got the better of me. I clicked and held my breath and...I was correct. Thus, the shame descended upon me. How is it that I have enough useless droppings in my brain to deduce (in a matter of seconds, no less) whom 'Timber Timber' refers to, but every time I go to post something here and am asked for my username, I draw a momentary blank?

Timbaland and his shiny muscles

Let's All Point and Laugh

2006-11-09T23:25:00.000-05:00

Before I get started, here's the picture, because that's what everyone looks at first anyways:

You may or may not have seen this before, but in case you haven't, yes that is what you think it is. This is Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas, and that is her, uh...accident. I saw this picture a while ago, and dismissed it as someone messing around in Photoshop, or perhaps an unfortunate sweating problem. However, I recently read an article where she admitted she pee-peed in her pants. Apparently, according to Fergie-Ferg (as she likes to call herself), she was 'buzzed' and didn't get a bathroom break. Whether you like the Black Eyed Peas or not, I think you can agree with me that NO song of theirs is worth peeing your pants over. Now, if you think about this picture for too long (which I hope you won't) some questions sort of fight their way to the front of your brain like a hyper kid on a rainy day: Did she sneak behind some speakers to do it? Did she do some classic rock star, wide-open leg pose and just let it go? What were the people in the front row thinking? Most importantly--Are there any Black Eyed Peas songs that you can do the pee-pee dance to? Is it just me, or does she look completely oblivious to the situation she's in? Shouldn't an ordinary person have fled the stage in shame--at the very least to find an unsoiled pair of pants? I guess anyone who would make up words like 'fergalicious' and use them proudly isn't too concerned with dignity. Just so you know, sometimes a little pointing and laughing is allowed, and deserved. That's all I have to say about Fergie-Ferg (hopefully for a very long time) and now maybe this image will leave my brain forever!

Sad News

2006-11-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

Two years ago, I got two hamsters, named Bo and Blue. This morning, Blue died. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to some, but I saw her little face every day, and I will miss her. I'd put a picture of her here, but those little critters don't stay still very long, and I only ever got one good picture of the two of them, in which Bo is looking right at the camera, and Blue is running the other way. Not to mention the fact that I don't have a scanner or a digital camera. Poor me. Anyhoo, that's my sad news for the day.

Coolest Monument Ever!!

2006-10-31T21:21:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween!! I figured this is the perfect day for this post, since it's a little morbid. I found this picture the other day, and I thought it must be the best tombstone ever! It is for Johnny Ramone, the guitar player for the second best punk
band--The Ramones. (Should anyone be interested, The Clash is the best, even though the Ramones came first.) Anyhoo, here it is:

Kurt Cobain and Betty Rubble?

2006-10-26T10:33:00.000-04:00

Something I found interesting: Kurt Cobain is the top earning dead celebrity. This is according to a list compiled by Forbes magazine (yes, they actually do a list of the top earning dead celebrities). Elvis has topped the list for the last six years, but Kurt edged him out this year. Now here's a question: is this something to be proud of? Especially since it is thanks to Courtney Love selling the rights to a large amount of Nirvana songs (probably for drug money). Besides his horror at topping ANY list, Kurt now has the added agony of possibly having his songs played on CSI, because that's part of what the company that bought them is planning to do with them. They wrecked the Who's songs, why not go after Nirvana? I just realized that I don't find this interesting, it annoys me. And the more I think about it, the more it makes me mad because now I've gone and mentioned CSI, and I HATE that show!!

In completely unrelated news, I watched the Flintstones the other day, and I remembered another useless bit of trivia I had read. Betty Rubble wasn't made a vitamin until 1996. For however many years they've been making Flintstone vitamins (good for you, and mighty tasty too!), Betty hadn't been included in the fun until 10 years ago. Now that I think about it, it's been so long since I took them, that I couldn't tell you who is or isn't in the bottle. Dino? Has to be. Pebbles and Bam Bam? Must be. Hoppy (anyone recall him--Betty and Barney's pet kangaroo/dinosaur thingy--me either, but he was in the episode I watched)? Probably not. Kazoo (was that his name? That little green hallucination that called Fred 'Dum Dum')? Maybe. Anyone know for sure who's in there, cause it's gonna bug me now!

Follower

2006-10-14T10:31:00.000-04:00

Just because everyone else is doing it, I thought I'd let whoever reads this know that ANYONE can leave a comment. It's pretty much always been like that here on my blog, but just in case--now you know! That's it for now, except to say: did you know that people sneeze at 100 miles per hour? More interestingly, supposedly ALL your bodily functions (including your heart) stop when you sneeze? That one freaked me out a bit, because what about those people who sneeze, like, ten times in a row? Anyhoo, I'm done.

Public Service Announcement

2006-10-10T19:36:00.000-04:00

October is breast cancer awareness month. Please click on the link below, and then click on the 'fund free mammograms' tab. Each time you do this, it helps fund free mammograms for women who otherwise wouldn't be able to afford them. You can do this once a day, every day. It is free and easy, and could save a life!!

www.thebreastcancersite.com

In memory of J.L.

Cleaning Out My Brain

2006-10-06T23:27:00.000-04:00

You know how you get songs stuck in your head, and you keep singing them to yourself over and over again until you finally hear it on the radio, or put the CD on yourself just to get it out of your head? Well, I read some useless information a couple of weeks ago that I just realized is still rattling around in my brain. It's one of those things that you're thinking about that you don't realize you're thinking about while you're thinking about it. Anyhoo, I thought I might as well deposit these small bits of information here so that I might have room in my head for other, more important things. Besides, it's useless TOILET information, and we could all use more of that, don't you think? So here you are:

--the average person uses the toilet 2500 times a year (everyone start counting...now!)

And here's one for the band geeks (useless toilet information for band geeks?):

--most toilets flush in E flat

And now onto why this makes me feel better about myself (and why you should feel better about yourself as well) : I'm not the one who took the time to figure these things out!!

Okay, that's all for now. You're welcome!!

Explain Yourself!!

2006-09-25T08:52:00.000-04:00

I just realized that the previous post might have made no sense unless you read what I read first. All I can say is, why can't people tell what's going on in my head? It would make life a lot easier for me. Anyhoo, a meme is a sort of a chain letter for blogs. I read it, was tagged, and took it up. Make sense? Perhaps not, but that is the best explanation I can come up with at the moment. For a much more eloquent explanation, click on The World According to Scott and Steph.

Did Someone Say Meme?

2006-09-23T14:52:00.000-04:00

I only found out five minutes ago what a meme is, but already I'm going for it! Good thing, too, because I can't think of anything else to write about today. Here goes:

I am thinking about...what I want to eat

I just said...I haven't said anything for over an hour, and I plan to keep it that way

I want to...go buy a case for my ipod

I wish...they would play something good on the radio

I regret...not getting more food when I went to the grocery store

I sing...only in front of small children who still aren't quite sure of the difference between a good singer and a bad one

I hear...a lawnmower and nothing good on the radio

I am...annoyed by too many things to list at the moment

I dance...in front of the same people I song for (poor things!)--and when I'm drunk

I'm behind...on loading songs onto my ipod

I cry...not enough, I think

I am not...addicted to pomegranates...or maybe I am

I forgot...what I was going to write in my blog

I confuse...myself

I write...when I am inspired to do so

I need...pomegranates--lots and lots of pomegranates

My Inner Old Lady

2006-09-19T17:47:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I realized that I have not really provided much useless information yet. Here goes: only 17 people have ever been killed by sting rays (give or take a Crocodile Hunter). I am not making fun of Steve Irwin--in fact, it was only after he died that I realized that perhaps no one could ever HATE the Crocodile Hunter. He was not all there, that's for sure, and dangling his baby in front of a crocodile was not the smartest thing he ever did, but does anyone really have anything bad to say about him? All I can say is that I hope he had a good sense of humour and could see the irony in the fact that after spending the better part of his life chasing one of the deadliest creatures on earth, a FISH does him in. If it was me, I would have drowned from laughing under water before the sting ray poison could have killed me.

Next--did you know that eating marshmallows could kill you? Some lady entered a marshmallow eating contest at the Western Fair, choked on a mouthful, and subsequently died. If you are laughing right now, then shame on you. I have know ever since seeing Ghostbusters that marshmallows are evil. They are good for making rice krispie squares, and nothing else.

I just wanted to mention my favourite show, since everyone else is talking about their favourite shows, and I feel left out. Now that Rock Star is over, and I missed the beginning of the Amazing Race, I really only have one show that I watch. It is...wait for it...Coronation Street. That's right, while most normal people have an inner child, I have an inner old British lady! The show is more interesting and realistic than any American soap opera; there are no impossibly beautiful people you have to watch TRY to act; and you get the added bonus of dry British humour. What more could you ask for?

Rock Star Something Something

2006-09-17T16:05:00.000-04:00

I was going to write more on Dog the Bounty Hunter and the circumstances of his arrest, but then I realised that I just don't care that much.

Instead, I thought I should get a few things off my chest about Rock Star: Supernova. First off, I hear they can't use the name Supernova because it's already taken. You can't tell me that Tommy Lee doesn't have a well paid lawyer working hard who could have found this out. I have to say that it brings a little smile to my face to know that whoever already has the name, allowed the show to finish it's run before they stepped in and said How 'bout no! (minor--but funny--Goldmember reference there). That just cracks me up.

Next off, if I never hear Toby sing his little oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh song again, it will be too soon. I realise it is catchy, but so is the flu. I also see that he's cute, but the novelty of that wore off after the first week or two. As for Magni, he is a good rock singer, but unfortunately he sounds just like every other good rock singer on the radio--you know, all the ones who you can't remember their names, and you like that song they did, but you can't quite recall how it goes? He seemed like a really nice guy, but nice guy and Tommy Lee just don't go together.

Let's move on to the band itself, because Jason Newstead really annoys me. Who leaves the best metal band ever to hang out on a reality show? No one, that's who. Who gets FIRED from the best metal band ever and then hangs out on a reality show--Jason Newstead, that's who. Who died and made him the expert on 'opening up your voice'? Tommy Lee is a great drummer, and if he never stepped out from behind the drums except to take his bow, then I'd be happy. Gilby Clarke will not be bad-mouthed here now or any time in the future. Why, you ask? Well, it's simple. For one brief summer, not long ago, he was a member of the greatest rock band ever--Heart.

Now on to the talented people...and Lukas. How was it that Storm went home before Toby or Magni? She was the first performer on the first episode, and she did Pinball Wizard (a song I don't really care for) so well that I had to watch it again. She took all the crappy songs no one else wanted and did amazing on most of them. Then she does what Dave Navarro called his favourits original of both seasons of the show. Then she does her bottom three performance and makes Jason cry. Then she goes home?

Lukas? Lukas is your boy? I refuse to pay good money for a cd and listen to him for all of it. Not to mention the fact that his and Gilby's voices sound terrible together (Lukas' fault, not Gilby's). That's all I want to say about him.

Lastly we have Dilana. I love Dilana. She got the first encore. She was the first to sing with Supernova (after the entire audience shouted her name when asked who they wanted to hear). She took a song I hate (Time After Time) and made me like it. She took a song I like (Won't get Fooled Again) and did well with it. She took a song I couldn't listen to (Ring of Fire) and did it so well that I went and bought a Johnny Cash cd. I know that makes no sense, but it has to mean something, doesn't it? Yes, she screwed up when she was talking to the press, but you can't honestly think that no one else said anything stupid when they were in that house. Toby, one episode, commented that he couldn't believe that when there were two girls and one guy in the bottom three, and the GUY went home. No one said anything about that. I realise that Dilana was talking to the press, but there are cameras all around the house, and anything they say can potentially be broadcast on TV. It just makes me mad that they singled out Dilana and then went on and on about it. I also will admit that Dilana is not a very good songwriter--but that's why there is a profession called songwriting. She didn't win, and I never thought it was possible, but it both sucks AND blows!

Honestly, I don't think Supernova was going to pick a girl from the beginning. I hate to sound all feministy (my new word--you like?), but I feel that's what it came down to. Either that, or apparently Canada has the market cornered on rock stars. Which sounds more plausible? Before you decide, two words--no, three words for you: Sam Roberts live. Canadian rock stars? Really? Gord Downie is the only true Canadian rock star (that I can think of) and that's just because he's weird--and not in a hey-that-guy's-weird kind of way. Gord Downie is weird in a Canadian way. And THAT'S the reason The Hip have never caught on in the States.

Okay, I'm exhausted now, but I think I have purged all the pent up Rock Star anger I had in me. It's okay, I'll be fine now. Normal, even--but normal in a Canadian way.

Sarah

PS- Did anyone catch the Simpson's reference in there? It's one of my favourites, so I don't
know if it's obscure or blatantly obvious.

A First

2006-09-15T11:11:00.000-04:00

Semtember 15, 2006

This is my first post, and already I have nothing to say. I just decided to create this blog in case I have something to say at a later date. You never know--it could happen. Who knows, one day, I could have something really, really important to say, and then anyone who reads this will be forever grateful to me for creating this blog and posting some useful information. But who am I kidding? The only information that ever stays in my head long enough to share with anyone is completely USELESS, but frequently entertaining and informative (in a useless kind of way). See now? I had nothing to say, and look at all the space I've filled up. I bet I could go on for quite a bit longer, and still say nothing! However, I DO have better things to do with my time...I think. Sometimes if I go on long enough without saying anything, some useless bit of information comes to me, and here's something now! I just found out that Dog the Bounty Hunter (that guy on TV that goes after people who skip bail, and who really needs a hair cut)
was arested. What was he arrested for? You guessed it--skipping bail. See? That was a completely frivilous bit of information, but I bet you were interested in it. Or maybe I just have way too much time on my hands. Either way, that's it for now. Hope this wasn't completely useless--just mostly! Bye for now.

Sarah