Merry Christmas!

If I Were A Cat...

I totally understand how this cat feels. This cracked me up.

Slow News Day

This is Sunny. Isn't she pretty? She sounds nice, too!

I have absolutely nothing of any use in my brain, and I am severely lacking in Christmas spirit this year, so I thought I'd introduce you all to one of my guitars, in case you haven't seen her before.

All guitars are girls, as far as I know, and so is this one, even though the brand is a Stagg. This is a Stagg L320 GBK, to be exact. Her name is Sunny (yes, I name my guitars--doesn't everyone?).

She is actually my fourth guitar, and I got her about two years ago, I think (really I have no idea when, I just sort of pulled that out of nowhere, but it sounds about right).

This is the guitar I have wanted pretty much since I started playing guitar (actually, it's a much less expensive COPY of the one I always wanted [the Gibson Gothic Les Paul]).

Okay, that's it. I would assume no one else sees the beauty in Sunny that I do (she literally hangs on my wall) so this one was mostly for my benifit. To quote Cousin Eddie, "She's a beaut, Clark!" There, I got Christmassy after all!

Scrap In Aisle Three!!

I went to Wal-mart today. Yup, seven days before Christmas, and I stepped into the zoo. I was prepared to get what I needed and get out, and so I didn't even get a cart at first.

I found what I wanted behind an empty cart. Once I had it, an older lady took up the cart and started to ask me about the item I had in my hand. We were having a nice chat when an older (and apparently crabbier) lady asked the nice lady if she had taken the crabby lady's cart. The nice lady politely said no--it was her cart. Crabby lady then accused nice lady of stealing the cart! Let me remind you that it was empty! I sort of just stood there for a moment, and then smiled at the nice lady and left.

Anyhoo, the store wasn't that busy, and there was a whole line of empty carts just two aisles away at the door. I don't know who got the cart in the end, but I saw crabby lady a few minutes later AGAIN wandering away from her EMPTY cart to look at something.

Here is a clip from Coronation street that shows if you're going to be a crabby old lady, the least you can do is be sarcastic and funny about it!!

The crabby lady appears at about 0:44, and she absolutely cracks me up in this scene.

Useless Christmas Fun

Here's a little bit of Christmas fun. Go to this website:

www.jokesunlimited.com/christmas_elf_name.php

to find out what your elf name is.

Mine is Snappy Sparkly-Toes.

Not Over Played...Yet

I've decided to boycott all radio stations that advertise Mac computers. I heard one Mac endorsment too many the other day, and it pushed me over the edge. I'm listening to 97.7 because THEY don't care what kind of computer I have!

Due to the fact that I have NO Christmas spirit at the time and can't think of anything festive to put here, I'll give you a list of songs you can go out and buy yourselves for Christmas! You're welcome!!

These are the songs I like at the moment, most of which aren't on the radio. That means I'm free to over play them at my own pace! In no particular order:

1. Oh Holy Night--Heart
2. You Ruined Christmas--Bobnoxious
3. Martell--The Cribs
4. The Globe--Big Audio Dynamite II
5. Get Over It--OK Go
6. Day After Tomorrow--Tom Waits
7. This Song Was Written By A Commitee--Hostage Life
8. Can't Stand Me Now--The Libertines
9. Kick Out the Jams--MC5
10. Police & Thieves--The Clash
11. Red Light Indicates Doors are Secure--Arctic Monkeys
12. Life During Wartime--Talking Heads
13. Maggie's Farm--Rage Against the Machine
14. Seeing Double At the Triple Rock--NOFX
15. LSF--Kasabian
16. Mama--My Chemical Romance
17. John the Fisherman--Primus
18. Gotta Get Into You--New Young Pony Club
19. Techno Love Song--Coco Rosie
20. Mondo Bongo--Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros

That's it--some are old, some are new, but they're all good.

My Feet Don't Stink!

My feet are well taken care of--thanks to my socks. I bought some socks today and before I discarded the package, something caught my eye. It said "Ultra-Fresh" in a big, green oval, and in small writing underneath "Antimicrobial Protection". The purpose of this, I learned upon further reading, is 'to prevent the growth of odor-causing bacteria'. Well, isn't that special?

These are sport socks, by the way, so I guess they figure you're actually using them for sport. They don't make sit-and-type-on-your-computer socks, so I went with the sport ones. I think everyone should take a closer look at what the sock people have taken the time (or WASTED the time, in some cases) to print on the package. First of all, my sport socks fit feet sized 4 to 10--thank god they don't make shoes that way! (The store took a step into reality and labelled them for size 9 to 11.)

There is also something called 'Lycra 3D' in my socks, which is supposed to 'help keep the size, shape and fit' of the socks. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't your FEET do that?

All these things, by the way, are listed as the 'features' of the socks. My socks have features!!
Besides all this, there are the typical washing instructions, the last of which is DO NOT IRON. Are there really people who iron their socks? Do they hang them back on their little black sock hangers after?

Warning--Redneck Content

I used to hate NASCAR, and then I liked it and watched it, then I followed it, but didn't watch it, and now I sort of follow it and watch a couple of laps here and there. I watched the final race of the season recently, because one of the drivers I like was in contention to win the championship. If you don't watch NASCAR, the rules of it have been changed in the last few years, and now it's mostly just stupid (more stupid than driving around in circles for four hours doing nothing but wasting gas and risking your life). Plus, since it is the 'fastest growing sport', little rules and regulations change on an almost weekly basis to satisfy new fans and sponsors. Anyhoo, Jimmie Johnson (one of the few drivers who is consistently good and doesn't drive like an idiot) won the championship. I just read that Jimmie broke his wrist after...wait for it...falling out of a golf cart. His JOB is to handle corners at 200 mph, and some guy takes a corner a little too sharply in a golf cart and poor Jimmie goes flying. Whether you like NASCAR or not, you gotta admit that's ironic. And if you take a moment to get the picture in your head (the golf cart; the sudden turn; the big guy in the blue and white race suite flying out, flailing his arms about, and perhaps rolling down a conveiniently nearby hill) it's pretty funny. Or maybe I've just seen America's Funniest Home Videos too much. I've gotta thank Tetley Tea for making this blog possible today (gotta get those sponsors in there--oh my god, did I just make a NASCAR inside joke?) Alright, that's it. Hopefully I'll be okay in the morning.

For the Tenth Time Today...

Some people have a radio station--I don't mean they have one, I mean they have ONE that they listen to day in, day out. I have three. This is several steps up from the radio channel surfing I used to do between the 24 pre-sets on my radio. I listen to 102.1 (The Edge) out of Toronto, FM 96, out of London, and 97.7 (Hitz FM) out of St Catharines. Now, they DO play some different music, but for the most part, their playlists mirror each other quite nicely, which is not always a good thing. As a result of their similar formats, there are several (extremely over-played) songs that I am beyond tired of. Why does a song have to go into such HEAVY rotation if a station even gets a hint that people like it? What happened to the good old days of waiting around to hear the latest song by your favourite band (with your fingers hovering over the record button so you could tape it!!)? Here are the ten songs I never want to hear again
(there have been others, and there will be more, but just these at the moment):

1. Talk--Coldplay (I haven't actually heard it much lately, but I don't really like Coldplay, and this particular track makes me want to stick sharp things in my ears)

2. Lips Of An Angel--Hinder (I liked it the first few times I heard it, but after several hundred, I'm completely over it)

3. Hate Me--Blue October (it sounds like an order, and I don't like taking orders, but after hearing it so many times, yes, I will hate him--if only to shut him up)

4. Pain--Three Days Grace (this song causes me some minor pain--maybe just a small ache, but it's enough to send me to another station)

5. It's A Long Way To the Top if You Wanna Rock and Roll--AC/DC (I swear on my favourite guitar's life that this song is playing on FM 96 as I type this right now, and it freaks me out!! I don't care HOW cool AC/DC is, the words 'bagpipes' and 'solo' should never be used together)

6. Sunday Morning--K-OS (I just don't like it--it gets on my nerves after the third time they play it in one day)

7. Anything by Sam Roberts (there is something about him that makes me dislike him greatly, and therefore makes it impossible for me to enjoy any song he sings--maybe it has something to do with the fact that he can't sing)

8. Comin' Home--City & Colour (first of all, it's the band name--the guy's name is Dallas [a city] Green [a colour], and that's just to cutesy for me; then there's the song itself, in which he mentions places like Halifax and Nova Scotia, which only makes you sound like a dork, unless you're Great Big Sea; besides which, Halifax is IN Nova Scotia, and he only separated them to fit into a rhyme, and I've spent more time on this song than I meant to)

9. Anna Molly--Incubus (I don't like the song, and it's played every five minutes; in the song, he sings anomaly [def. something unusual] but it is called Anna Molly, this bugged me from the moment the song came out, but now, the DJ's have a little debate with themselves about the correct pronounciation of the title before or after they play it!)

10. Snow (Hey Oh)--Red Hot Chili Peppers (I actually like this song, and don't mind it being played so much [yet], but what annoys me is the way the DJ's try to make the 'Hey Oh' part of the title sound cool--it's NOT cool, and nothing you do will make it sound that way!)

Okay, so that's it. I won't even get started on how the DJ's keep pushing Mac computers, because it irritates me beyond belief, and I'm about ready to turn the radio off for good if they don't stop. Yes, you have a Mac. Yes, you prpbably got it for free. Yes, you have to mention it a certain amount of times a day (as per the 'free' arrangement). Yes, your Mac is better than my computer. I DON'T CARE!!

NOW that's it. I feel better.

Hairball in Easy Listening

Here's something I find terribly funny. If the link doesn't work, type the address manually (zoinks!)--it's worth it, just for a laugh. If you don't see any humour in this at all, then you should see a doctor immediately. This makes no sense until you see it, but the third one down is my favourite, and you have to watch the sixth one down for a second to get the full effect.

http://tower.boras.org/cat/

Glossy Pin-Ups Inside!!

We all used to read magazines when we were younger, right? (Yes, I realize most people still read them, but probably not the same ones as before.) There were the usual teen magazines for the girls (sorry, but I don't know what the boys read) like Tiger Beat, and whatever all the other ones were called. I, however, was the only girl I knew who used to regularly buy (along with the teen mags) such choice titles as Metal Edge and Hit Parader. Metal Edge was more reputable, but Hit Parader had all glossy pages (which used to be a rarity). Anyhoo, the point of all this is that Hit Parader just put out a list of the Top 100 Vocalists (in metal and hard rock music). The list included Robert Plant (Zeppelin) at #1, Chris Cornell (Soundgarden), Layne Staley (Alice In Chains), as well as the leaders of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guns N Roses, Pearl Jam, Tool, Nirvana, and Nine Inch Nails (all of the bands I used to buy the magazine to read about). There were others I used to like, and plenty I either didn't like, or had never heard of (and Paul Stanley at #18 and Gene Simmons at #29, for those so inclined). Most importantly, my favourite singer ever was included, although only at #78. This would be, Ann Wilson (of Heart) in all her rawk awesomeness! My delight at seeing her included in the list (even if it was so far down) quickly faded when I noticed that Amy Lee (of Evanessence) made it to #69. What is that? That would be like putting the dude from Creed (who somehow achieved #68) ahead of Robert Plant! I'm sure I'm the only one who finds this completely ridiculous, but it's just stupid to me, and I had to vent my frustration. Now that I think about it, I only used to get Hit Parader for the posters, not the content. If you would like to know who else made the list, look it up! I don't remember where I found it, and I don't care to look for it again. I'm off in search of more accurate polls!!

For those about to RAWK, Nancy and Ann Wilson salute you!!