Shopping List: Q-Tips; Ear Plugs

Okay, so I'm on the CNN website the other day keeping up with the news, and a story caught my eye, so I clicked on it and read it. There was this boy who told his parents he heard noises in his ear. He described it as a "snap, crackle, pop, like Rice Krispies." They took him to the doctor, and it turns out that there were two spiders living in his ear! (You just felt the sudden urge for a Q-Tip, didn't you?) The noises the boy heard were the spiders walking across his eardrum.

So this brought up a whole bunch of things in my over-active imagination. First off, can't you totally picture cartoon spiders, in their tiny little tap shoes, with top hats and canes, doing a dance on someones ear drum? No...just me? Okay then.

Next, there were two spiders...not one, but two! It begs the question, how long was this boy still for, that two spiders took up residence in his ear? I can understand one--I mean, who knows what goes on while you're sleeping, right? (just creeped myself out there) But spiders don't house hunt like people, do they? They don't go in together, browse around the place and decide they'll take it. They send one in to scope it out, and that one goes back and gets the others and they set up camp. (sounds right-ish) So just how inactive is this kid?

Then there's the obvious concern that this boy has never been introduced to the cotton swab. And he obviously doesn't have a fear of spiders or, like me, he would see any tiny annoyance in the ear as the possibility that spiders (or any type of bug, for that matter) are attempting unwanted entry. I'm not paranoid...I've read things...I know it's possible.

Lastly, I may never eat Rice Krispies again. The wholesome goodness of them has been ruined for me...I'd just be thinking about a big bowl of spiders. Rice Krispie squares, however, are a different story. Rice Krispie squares are the food of the gods.

News Flash: People Are Stupid

Okay, so I went to the bank the other day. I went inside and there is a line up of three people for the bank machines. One guy is at one machine, and the other is empty. I used what little smarts I have to surmise that the empty machine must be out of order, and got in line. A few minutes later, the line has grown to six people (including me). All the other people who came in after me obviously came to the same conclusion about the empty machine as I did because they all quietly took up their place in the line.

I'm sure you can probably guess what happens next. Some tool comes in, looks at the machines, looks at the length of the line and says...wait for it..."The other machine not working?"

One lady, bless her heart, actually answered because the rest of us just sort of looked at the moron, wondering if we had heard what we just thought we heard.

I mean, there's a little thing called common sense, isn't there? Did the idiot think we were just all standing there because we enjoy the thrill of the line up? We were running low on anticipation that day, and decided to stock up at the bank? Maybe we all just had a preference for the machine on the right, instead of the lefty one.

I feel bad for stupid people. They can't help it. On the other hand, they are to be congratulated for getting where they were going without any major injuries...I guess.